Our Family Adoption Story
Back At Home
Home | Before the Arrival | Why adopt from China? | Adoption Reading List | Journal - Step 1/Homestudy phase | Journal - Step 2: The paper chase | Journal - Step 3: DTC | Step 4: Referral! | Travel Journal | Back At Home | Alia at one year | Alia at 2 | Lance | Cierra | Stuff!! | Photo Album | FAQ about China Adoptions | Contact Us | Daddies April to August TDY

They say things will never be the same...

On this page, we'll describe how we're adjusting to life with our new family member. We'll talk about how the baby adjusts and what developmental stages we are in.  Adopted/Orphanage children tend to be developmentally delayed due to lack of stimulation, amoung other things.  We will actually be treating the baby younger that she is until attachments are formed and she is healthy.  The older the child the higher the chance of delays, and the farther behind they can be.  

welcomehomealia.jpg

From:  "Autumn Frymark" <autumnfrymark@cox.net>
Date:  Sat Jan 1, 2005  4:24 pm
Subject:  Re: [bringingaliahome] Dec 31 -the New Year's Eve that never ends...
Thanks for the e-card Miller family!  That was really neat.
 
It really is amazing how quickly they change.  Alia wants to be in a standing position more than on the floor now - at first she really didn't want to be held or be upright much.  Last night  she almost had her knees under herself - looks like crawling is just around the corner.
 
Today we are taking it easy.  Once she had a good nights sleep she seemed over whelmed by all the colors, sights and sounds just in our house.  She didn't know what to look at first.
 
Cant wait until  she is adjusted and we can make the rounds!
 
 
From:  autumnfrymark@cox.net
Date:  Wed Jan 5, 2005  12:30 am
Subject:  Back to the land of the living...
Wow!

Didnt mean to drop off the face of the earth like that! I came down with the flu and was completly out of it for the last 3 days. So glad this happened AFTER we got home!

Alia has her days and nights mixed up so things are rather out of sinc around here. The kids start back to school on Thursday so I hope that helps us get things a little more settled when we have a schedule again. Time will tell.

Mom and dad ended up leaving Saturday after all. They need to get their house plans to their builder in Florida.

I've missed most of Alia's adjusting up to this point. All seems to be going well outside of the sleeping schedule. Her cold is almost gone. Now we are dealing with lots of gas due to trying to change her over to American formula. Started gas drops today and that seems to be working.

I cant believe this is the same baby from 2 weeks ago. She is now getting up on her hands and knees. She is going to be crawling before we know it. She is also putting wieght on her legs all the time and using her hands all the time to manipulate things. She has even tasted a toy or two.

Still no luck on the feeding. But we have made progress in that when I try to feed her something she doesnt make a face like I'm trying to poison her anymore. But she shuts that mouth and turns away.

The weather has kept us indoors and off the roads. Its only suposed to get worse. I think the prediction is 12 inches tomorrow. Just makes it that much easier to stay at home and keep the baby in. Since its RSV season this is probably good since we have no idea whether Alia was full term or was a preemie.

Alia has adjusted to the kids wonderfully. She has nothing but smiles for the two of them. And of course they come running at the slightest noise....the baby is not going to learn to walk or talk before the age of 4 if this keeps up! She is completely catered to. Wont she be in for a shock when they go back to school!

For those of you that have kids at home already - the night time awake period is at least a time that you can reconnect with baby like you did in China. No one else competing for her attention. Perfect time to get the eye contact back and keep working on that bonding. So dont be in a hurry to get those days straight - there is value in this.

Well, its night night time! We are hoping to make it a little longer tonight!


From:  autumnfrymark@cox.net
Date:  Fri Jan 7, 2005  8:47 pm
Subject:  Friday Jan 7
Today we have been home one week. Things have gone rather smoothly and Alia is getting into a schedule and seems to have adjusted to the family rather well. Lots of smiles for Lance and Cierra.

Today Alia laughed while playing with a new toy - without anyone tickling her or interacting with her at the time. Talk about music to the ears! She is jabbering alot also.

We also took her to the doctor today as her cold is getting worse and it appears she is pulling at her ears. Came home with the standard antibiotics. Also got her set up for a big appointment/assessment for the 20th to do a full once over on her.

The ped seemed to think she looked healthy and while we were there Alia decided to practice up on her hands and knees on the table for everyone. Considering she didnt put wieght on her legs or arms before it was impressive. We all ooohhhhed and aaawwwed in appreciation.

We are doing real well with getting the days and nights straight. The last 2 nights she was only up once - and then only long enough for a change and a bottle.

We were given the number for Early Childhood Intervention and the ped recommended we call since Alia is not eating solids and doesnt want anything in her mouth. She is suggesting we try to get some occupational therapy for her. Will have to get that set up.

Will probably transfer all this over to the web site now that we are home and pretty much shut this one down. Don't know when I will get to it but that is the plan.

Now I'm off for an early night as Cierra has chior in the morning. Back into the routine we go!
 
 
1/18/05
 
Things are moving along rather nicely here in cold, cold Nebraska.  Alia does something new every day.  She will "dance" to music, shake her head no (although thats not really what she is doing - I think its a form of dancing), sit up for long periods of time when placed in a sitting position, jabbers on and on......AND
 
We got her to eat!!! As of this weekend she started baby food.  So far it is only green beans and squash - but she is eating. I think maybe she doesnt like the cereal.  We are relieved as she is also beginning to put other things in her mouth and explore them now.
 
Today we had two ladies from Early Childhood Intervention come out to the house to assess Alia.  They were very impressed with Alia even though she is definately behind in some areas.  They can not believe how far she has come in just under a month.  She has done so well they really arent sure wether to put her on the program or not.  They will get together with the "team" and discuss her case.  They think maybe they will give it some time and then reassess her after she's been home longer to see how she is doing at that point.  Normally they have to start something within 45 days - but they are thinking they might be able to do it a little different since they can claim possible cultural differences and such.  Anyways - they will get back to me after the meeting and let me know what they want to do.
 
I found the meeting very encouraging.  When you have someone asking what they could do when you received them and then question you on what they can do now - it really brings home just how far she has come.  Alia really is a smart little thing and is doing so well.  We have been truly blessed.
 
Daddy goes TDY next week so I'll be on my own.  I think we have our schedule down good enough that it shouldnt be a problem. 
 
Now its time to crash - I'm worn out!    


 

crashundersaucer2.jpg

1/21/05
 
Yesterday Alia had her doctors appointment.  She appears to be perfectly healthy.  We did have them document the mongolian spots as we have heard stories of daycare providers or babysitters not knowing what they are and reporting parents for abuse after seeing them.
 
Unfortunatley they wanted to run a million tests on Alia.  She also had to get 3 shots.  The bloodwork was awful.  We spent 30 minutes with them (had to get others with more experience at one point) trying to draw on her.  They tried one hand and one are a couple times.  It was ugly.  Daddy had to do it - I had to keep leaving that wing of the hospital - you could hear her all over the floor.  If they didnt get enough I'm not sure I can take her back after all of that.
 
Alia has been sick today with a fever, the runs and spitting up.  The shots made her good and sick and she is not very happy.  Spent most of the day holding her.  Poor baby.
 
Alia has started rocking/dancing to classical music.  I was wishing I had some kid cd's today when I remembered I have the Baby Mozart DVD.  I put it on so she could listen to it.  To my amazement she sat there and watched the DVD.  She has never shown any interest in the tv prior to this (which I liked).  I cant believe she watched the whole thing.  Maybe its because she was less active today being sick.
 
We are also learning to clap.  Actually, I clap, then I make her hands clap.  She then gets one of her hands going, gets frustrated, and then grabs my hands to make hers do it again.  She is so smart! She definatley has determination also.
 
Blowing rasberries has become a favorite past time.  She puckers those lips out like a duck beak!  The rest of us are in stitches.  She has also found her voice and babbles non-stop lately.  They are surpised at the amount of different sounds she is already making. 
 
Busy weekend!  Angelica is staying with us as her sister and mother are at a retreat this weekend.  Plus we need to take the baby to see a friend over in Iowa.  We also need to get back to church this weekend now that we are all settled in.  Dion leaves TDY on Monday. 
 
I also need to get all the photos made so I can get Alia's announcements mailed out.  Every time I get a chance to go do it she is either sick or something else important needs to be taken care of. I've forgotten how little you can get done with a little one!
 
Great news this weekend!  Stayce is having a girl!  I'll have another little niece (and someone close to Alia's age!)
 
 
 
2/2/05
 
Alia is 10 months old today. 
 
We are eating more baby food but still not even up to 3 times a day.  She is taking less formula though.
 
We sit!  Its only been a few times, but I have watched her go from laying on the floor to a sitting position.  Mostly she doesnt make it and just gets mad and fusses about it. 
 
Alia tolerated the church nursery okay.  I stayed with her.  She loved all the toys.  But it was all pretty overwhelming - if I was to guess by the 3 hour nap she took when we got home.
 
Got my half of the announcements in the mail!  Dont know if Dion has mailed his yet.  Do need to get to the post office as I have a few that are being sent with presents for some of the kids we missed at Christmas. 
 
This week Alia has decided to look for me and cry whenever I let someone else hold her.  I think she is figuring out that we belong to her now. 
 
Friday we have a meeting at the agency to share our stories with the people going to China in the coming months.  The Vortherms will be coming down from Crieghton. 
 
Then Saturday is the Chinese New Year Celebration with the FCC.  We look forward to going to that and seeing the Lion Dance.  The Vortherms are going to stay overnight and come to that also.  I cant wait to see Emma! (And the rest of them of course!) 
 
The rest of the week is pretty busy.  Lots going on out this way!  And DeDe might try to make a trip up to see the baby.  We cant wait to show her off!
 
2/9/05
Well, we were notified by the doctor that Alia has Giardia.  She has a medicine she has to take for a week. Unfortunatly she keeps spitting it in my face instead of getting it in her tummy so I dont know if we are getting enough in her.  It is a very bitter medicine and we cant even hide it in a bottle or food.  We have to sneak up on her and do a tag team attack to even get it in her mouth.
 
Otherwise all is well.  Alia is sitting up by herself now.  We are just waiting for her to begin crawling - she goes just a little.  She is also "talking" a lot more and laughing now.  She has a funny laugh. 
 
We have snow and cold again.  I wish it would warm up so I can take Alia outside more.  I think we will get a zoo pass this year so we can go walk around when its nice.      
 
     

emmahailingvortherms.jpg

3/20/05
 
Its been awhile!  Things have been very very busy here. 
 
Chinese New Year was a blast.  The Vortherms came down also.  That Friday night the Vortherms and our family went to the adoption agency and talked to all the people coming up behind us in the China program.  We brought the babies and answered as many questions as we could.  Since our two families were the first to use their new China program, we didnt get to have a meeting like this.  I did feel a little bad because our trip was so easy and not typical -- I dont know how much we helped!
 
Chinese New Year celebration was at the China Buffett again this year.  We got to see the Lion dance performed and the kids were a part of a parade.  Cierra was in one of the dragons (or whatever it is). The picture I added is of Cierra and Emma.  We really loved getting to see her again!
 
Early Childhood Intervention came out for a second time and reassessed Alia.  They feel she is behind just a little on some fine motor skills -- but not enough to qualify for help.  So she has been declared within normal limits!  This is good. 
 
Alia crawls all over and stands up by herself all the time.  We are just waiting for her to start taking steps.  Not that I'm in a hurry - there will be no stopping her once she is up and moving!
 
Kelly and her 2 gilrs from China, And Lori and Olivia came over for a visit.  We are trying to get together once a month with the girls.  It is nice to have other families that got their girls at the same time.  They are all so happy and healthy looking!  Olivia is about 2 months older than Alia, and after being home close to 2 months I was amazed at how much of what Lori said to here that she understood!  Amazing.  And Michaela and McKenzie are amazing!  Olivia brought everyone a balloon -- which Alia was very afraid of at first.  She doesnt like things that move in an unexpected way. 
 
The baby and I took a trip to Kansas City to meet Aunt Stayce and see and old friend from our younger years (that was visiting Stayce)  Both Stayce and Leticia are pregnant -- and we had 3 year old Garet and 2 year old Maddie (who is very beautiful) and Alia.  It was a very nice visit.
 
The kids and I took a trip to Kansas City a couple of weeks later to see Aunt Stayce and family and deliver their Girl Scout cookies.  We stayed a few days instead of just overnight this time.  Alia is fascinated with Orion (the dog).  Unfortunately Garet came down with a cold -- which we brought home with us.
 
Alia has been a mess with her cold.  She's decided mom makes a good mattress -- a complete switch from wanting to be put down when she's ready to sleep.  She is also waking up more at night since she cant breath good and coughs.  Coughing makes her mad - which makes her cry.  So my house is filled with the sound of cough-cry-cough-cry-cough-cry.  Its actaully kind of funny. 
 
Since being sick Alia only wants mommy - and I'm not allowed out of sight.  Timing is bad as this weekend Cierra and I had a Girl Scout overnight in Kearney Nebraska at the Great Platte Archway.  So I abandoned dad with a grumpy baby. 
 
Our trip was a major blast and we had a great time.  I really love all these girls in our troop - they are so  much fun and all so very well behaved!  They didnt even flip out when we got the rented van stuck in sand!  LOL!  Our trip was definatley an adventure! 
 
Lance has returned to being homeschooled so I dont spend as much time on the computer.  Between the baby and his school work I'm kept pretty busy.  Cierra wants to come home to be homeschooled also - but she will finish off the year in public school and start at home next school year.  I dont really have the time to get her set up properly at the moment! 
 
I'm sure I've missed a million things.  Bottom line is that Alia is doing well, healthy and adjusting well.  She amazes us with a new trick pretty much every day, and brother and sister are still very much taken with her -- I'm waiting for the honeymoon period to wear off! 
 
We are all doing well - just pretty busy.  Dion is in school at the moment and I think that lasts 2 months.  Then he will be up flying again.   Health wise he has some cholesteral and blood pressure issue that he is constantly having medication re-adjusted for.  He's not very thrilled about all the bloodwork and doctors appointments.  
 
We havent talked to many people lately - but you are all in our thoughts and prayers!       
 
 
I'm going to add another page to continue from 1 to 2 years old as this one is getting so long.