Adoption Reading List

Our Family Adoption Story

Adoption Reading List

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Some of our reading:

***I have added links to the books at Amazon. Also, if there is no description of the book, it has been moved to our other webpage http://chinalinksne.tripod.com

These are books we have read. In some cases I will highly recommend these to my family & friends. Raising adopted children is not the same as raising biological children. The more our families & friends know & understand, the better for our child. If you are interested in these issues, or if you have problems/opinions on why adoption might not be a good thing, then I recommend educating yourselves. Likewise, if you know of any good reading or other material we should look into, please let us know!

The Unofficial Guide to Adopting a Child

by Andrea DellaVecchio

Good general book on adopting. Goes over types of adoptions, problems & things to think about.

Toddler Adoption: The Weavers Craft:

Mary Hopkins-Best

Parenting Your Adopted Older Child

Brenda McCreight, PH.D.

Fills you in on how hard it is to bond with older children- yet it is not impossible. Good reading for anyone considering an older child adoption.

Launching A Babys Adoption

Patricia Irwin Johnston

Book on adopting babies. This one changed my mind on age to adopt. We were thinking about 2-3 yrs old, but after reading this & Toddler Adoption, weI switched to infant.

The Adoption Sourcebook

by Cheryl Jones

General adoption options. Generic type book for beginners.

Adopting in China: A Practical Guide/An Emotional Journey

by Kathleen Wheeler Ph.D. and Doug Werner

Good book on a couples adoption, told by father. These were 46 yr

olds with no children, so the story is very comical to me. I loved it

when they stopped at the beach to surf on their way to the airport.

Intercountry Adoption From China: Examining Cultural Heritage

and Other Postadoption Issues

Adopt International

by O. Robin Sweet/Patty Bryan

General adoption info

The Lost Daughters of China

How to Raise an Adopted Child

Insight Guides: China

General travel book about China. Only really interesting if you are going to be traveling.

The Adoption Reader by Susan Wadia-Ells

Not impressed with this book. The author found the most depressing people to write the stories. Felt more like a pity party book. Stories from birth mom's (why I'm not a bad person for giving up my baby seemed to be the theme), Adoptive moms (how I supported my childs search for her birth parents & it made me a better person - the most positive slant in the book) & the adoptee (why my life is worthless because I dont know the person who didnt keep me - or I met them and even tho I understand I dont understand - I could have been so much more if I'd been with my birth mom - no matter the situation). Ugh. I dont recommend this one. If you do read it, take your prozac first.

What's Going on in There? By Lise Eliot, PH.D.

Very good for anyone raising a child, but especially good for pregnant mothers. Lets you know what developes in the brain at what points & when you can enhance these processes. Alot of the "windows" are after birth. It won't help us much with an adopted child as far as being able to take advantage of many key times, but it is very useful in explaining how important things like touch, sight & sound are - gives a baseline for understanding if they have a problem in an area - and if we can or cannot enhance that area. It is a big book, full of information - but also an easy read. Recommend for anyone having children or adopting a child up to about 3 years old.

Sisters Redeem Their Grumpy Dad by Terry L. Garlock

Great book. I highly recommend anyone adopting from China buy this book - not just read it. It is a father writing about his adoptions from China. At the end of the book he has written to his daughters the things he wants them to know about life in case he's not around. It is outstanding. He also shows pictures & text for a powerpoint presentation he did for his girls with their adoption story. All great idea's & very helpful. I got more wisdom & belly laughs out of this book than I have from any other book in a long time.

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents knew

Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self

by: David Brodzinsky, Marshall Schechter & Robin Marantz

Goes through each stage of life & how loss/grief in adopted children can manifest itself. I found this informative - there are things I would not have recognized as grief without reading this. Recommend as a read - not sure that I would buy it to refer to in the future.

May The Circle Be Unbroken: An intimate journey into the heart of adoption

by: Lynn C. Franklin

Written by a woman who relinquished her child & later in life was reunited. It deals with several people who have had reunions & relationships. The sections in the book are told from 3 points of view: adoptee, adoptive parents & birth mothers. Although the issues are emotional, this is a positive book that doesn't try to lay blame on why people relinquished their children, why an adoptive person is unhappy & how scary this reunion is for adoptive parents. Appears to be written about normal people - not from a talk show point of view. Good book. Anyone adopting should read it.

Customs & Etiquette in China

By Caroline Mason

Small book with some general guidelines on how to behave in China. It was written in 95 so I'm not sure how accurate it is.

Loved by Choice

by Susan Horner & Kelly Martindale

Needed an easy, feel good read after all the serious stuff. Found this at the Christian bookstore - stories from birth moms, adoptees and adoptive parents & grandparents. Full of good stories; a good read if you need a little lift during the process.

Adoption is a Family Affair! What Relatives and Friends Must Know

by Patricia Irwin Johnston

Dim Sum, Bagels, and Grits: A Sourcebook for Multicultural Families

A Blessing Over Ashes

By: Adam Fifield

A true story about a boy adopted from Cambodia (the killing fields). Dion is interested in Cambodia so when I got this book in a grab bag I kept it. A good story, written by the brother (biological child) of the adopted boy. It is amazing what a child can live through.

The Primal Wound

Real Parents, Real Children: Parenting the Adopted Child

by: Holly van Gulden & Lisa M. Bartels-Rabb

This was a good book. One I might buy. Lots of info on separation/loss & how it manifests at different stages in a child's life. Lot's of resources for extra reading on many different subjects. Highly recommend.

Wanting a Daughter, Needing a Son: Abandonment, Adoption, and Orphanage care in China.

Parenting the Hurt Child by: Keck and Kupecky

I was a little put off by the title - but this was a very good book. Lots of comparisons in the differences of how we handle adopted children as opposed to biological. It was very easy to read and understandable and this is a book I will go out and buy to refer back to. This is actually the second book written - the first being Adopting the Hurt Child - I'm going to find that one to read also. Glad Nancy lent this one to me - I probably wouldn't have picked it up on my own.

God's Adventurer

by: Phyllis Thompson

Book about a Hudson Taylor, a missionary to China. Very small book, quick read. It was interesing but I wish there had been a little more info on his time in China.

Journey To The Forbidden China

by: Steven W. Mosher

Written by a man who traveled by van through parts of China in the late 70's - previously unheard of. He was interested to see if the peasant's really were better off at the government told the world. He described how untrue that is and the surroundings and conditions he saw. Interesting story. I wonder if it's still the same in 2000.

Secret Thoughts of an Adoptive Mother

by: Jana Wolff

Author talks about her journey through an adoption. Very fast and easy read. Good to read as she covers alot of the emotions and thoughts we go through but never say out loud.

Voices From Another Place: A collection of works from a generation

born in Korea and adopted to other countries.

by: Susan Soon-Keum Cox

Title says it all. I find it interesting to read about how grown Korean adoptee's felt about being brought up by white parents. Good book.

Are Those Kids Yours? American Families with Children Adopted from Other Countries

by: Cheri Register

This was a really good book dealing with the issues of a trans-racial adoption. I enjoyed reading it and learned alot. I would definately recommend this one to anyone else adopting across racial lines.

When you were born in China: A memory book for children adopted from China

Adoption Lifebook: A Bridge to your childs beginnings

by: Cindy Probst

This is a workbook that explains what a lifebook is and how to make one. A lifebook focuses on the child BEFORE adoption. It has nothing to do with the family they end up in. Children in our foster system are supposed to have one of these that follow them through the system. It is supposed to help them with identity issues during their life time.

China: 7000 Years of Discovery

China Ancient Technology

Small book about Chinese inventions. They invented many things long before the people we learn in school. Interesting to read. Some of their inventions: paper, gunpowder, compass, and printing just to name a few.

Chinese Proverbs From Olden Times

Neat little book. Now I know where to get some "wishes" qoutes.

Adoption for Dummies

by: Tracy Barr and Katrinia Carlisle

The library had a couple more books so I checked them out. This is actually a good book if you are just starting out on adoption. I would recommend it.

Adopting the Hurt Child

by: Gregory Keck and Regina Kupecky

Found this at the library. I read it but its more about adopting out of the foster care system. Once again, another book that solidifies why this was not the path for us. Very eye opening book regarding the problems with adopting older children.

Lives of Notable Asian Americans

by Christina Chiu

Self explanitory

Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria?

by: Beverly Daniel Tatum

Adoption Nation: How the Adoption Revolution is Transforming America

by: Adam Pertman

Title pretty much says it all. Gives a history of how adoption has progressed in our country. It is a good book to read if you are adopting - but check it out of the library, don't buy it.

Becoming a Family: PAromoting Healthy Attachments with Your Adopted Child

Parenting with Love and Logic

by: Foster Cline and Jim Fay

This is a great parenting book. I highly recommened it to anyone with kids. Well worth reading - and an easy read.

Parenting Teens with Love and Logic

by: Foster Cline & Jim Fay

Continuation of the first book. This is a good series.

In the Know in China: The Indispensable Guide to Working and Living in China

The Stone of Heaven: Unearthing the Secret History of Imperial Green Jade

by: Adrian Levy & Cathy Scott-Clark

Not really an adoption book - its a history book on the story of imperial jade. I love jade so I was interested in the background. Interesting reading - a different way to get a history lesson on China. I hope I can find some good jade while we are in China to bring home - although I know it wont be the imperial jade as it is way out of reach price wise.

Wild Swans by: Jung Chang

Yellow

by Frank Wu

Very hard to read. Book an race/racial relations and where Asians fit it. I think it is worth reading to open your eyes on some issues our children will face - but check it out of the library - dont buy it.

**** I have now referred back to this book several times in race discussions. I change my mind about not buying it -- BUY IT. As your mind opens to the racism your child will face and you learn more and more, this becomes an important book to help you (the white parent) to understand and grow. Please read this book if you are adopting an Asian child of any race.

Iron and Silk by Mark Salzman

This was a true book about an American who goes to China to teach English for 2 years in the early 80's. Very good book, very quick read and I highly recommend. It gives you a few clues on culture differences and is just a really good story. Not sure I'd buy it - a library read if you can find it.

River Town: Two Years on the Yangtze

by: Peter Hessler

A book about a teacher for the peace corps who spends 2 years in China teaching. I like reading these because you always stumble onto cultural taboo's and such from the mistakes others have made. This was a good story that I recommend.

The Post-Adoption Blues

by: Karen Foli and John Thompson

Buy it. Read it. Keep it. teaches us to recognized depression - how common it is - and how to get help. Lots of assesment info. This is a good book - focus on educating everyone about the problem so we can recognize it and handle it. Buy it.

The Good Earth

by: Pearl S. Buck

This is the classic from the 30's I think. It was a really good book - read it in 2 days. If you are looking for a goodl fiction book to read this is great. It's one I will keep.

Notes on Things Chinese by Evelyn Lip

Small book with things invented by China, or people from China, holidays, etc.

Asian American Dreams: The Emergence of an American People

Really good book. History of Asians in America - lots of stuff we never learned in school! I really learned alot from this book and will definatley keep it and recommend it.

Chinese Family and Kinship by Hugh D. R. Baker

Dont bother. Very boring - not written well. Skip this one and read something you will enjoy more. I do believe this one is used as a school course material.

CHINA: The Dream of Man? by Tore Zetterholm

Big picture book on China. A pretty quick read. I found it very interesting and will keep.

The Chinese Helped Build America

by: Dorothy and Joseph Dowdell

A children/jr. book. Gives background on why many Chinese came to America and their struggles since.

The White-Haired Girl: Bittersweet Adventures of a Little Red Soldier

by: Jaia Sun-Childers

Very good biography type book. I am fascinated by what the Chinese lived through with the Cultural Revolution, etc. Unbelievable stuff. I recommend this one - its one I will keep.

Red Azalea by Anchee Min

Another true story about a woman who grew up during the cultural revolution. These are really amazing stories and I cant believe the things people lived through.

A Foreign Devil in China by John Pollock

Story of Dr. Bell - a missionary doctor (and the father of Billy Grahams wife) and all the years he spent in China. It was a very good book and if you like reading about missionaries I would recommend it.

Four Sisters of Hofei by Annping Chin

Title explains it all. True story. Not nearly as good as the others I've read but I did learn some more cultural things. Probably wont keep this one.

Growing up Asian American

by Maria Hong

This book has many stories from Asian Americans. Most are works of fiction based on their lives in America. It wasnt what I expected but it was a good read.

Loving Across the Color Line: A White Adoptive Mother Learns About Race

by Sharon E. Rush

This is an eye opening book. If you want to learn some hard facts about goodwill whites and racism in America this is a good place to start. Recommend.

China Wakes: The Struggle For The Soul of a Rising Power

by: Nicholas Kristof & Sheryl Wudunn

Good book written in the 90's about 2 journalist living in China. Very interesting read.

Transracial Adoption: Children and Parents Speak

by Constance Pohl & Kathy Harris

I dont think you can do wrong to read these kinds of books if you are adopting transracially. You will always learn something. This one is a little older and deals almost completely with black/white adoptions, but there is alot of good stuff in here. Read it!

Little Sister: Searching for the Shadow World of Chinese Women

by Julie Checkoway

This book is the memoir of an American that went to China to teach for a year. Her focus was to find out more about the life of Chinese women. It was a good story - but not the best I've read. I have an interest in all these books as they each give you a glimps of the world of the Chinese woman which I hope helps me to understand what kinds of issue can lead up to abandonment of a baby. This is one I would recommend as a check out from the library - not a buy.

Chinese Women through Chinese Eyes

by Li Yu-ning

The first half of this book is very textbook like. It was a bunch of different papers written on the subject of womens place in Chinese history and all the changes coming about. It was hard to get through as I kept falling asleep. But - the second half of the book was actual writings from women on their lives instead of somebody lecturing on the subject. Those chapters were very good and you got a look at the life of the average woman in China in history. Not something that I would recommend at a "buy". If you are interested in this subject it is worth a read - at least the second half!

Baba: A Return to China on my Father's Shoulders

by: Belle Yang

This is a book about the stories that the author's father told her about his growing up in China. The author went to China and lived for awhile and went to art school. The book is full of the authors paintings. So I found it to be a nice story book and art book in one. This one is worth checking out and reading. Another look at how the poor lived and some of the superstitions of China.

A Daughter of Han: The Autobiography of a Chinese Working Woman

by: Ida Pruitt

China To Me by Emily Hahn

This is a pretty old book. Emily's experience living in China from about 1935 to 1942. It is an interesting story - she was quite a pioneer. Unfortunatley she was not a very moral person (in my opinion) so that limited some of my enjoyment of the book. (Call me crazy, I just can't get into living with and having a married man's baby). It was suspenseful reading through the Japenese occupation and how she survived. You can learn a thing or two about history in this book.

Colors of the Mountain

by Da Chen

Story of a landlords son growing up during the cultural revolution. Not an easy life to lead! Will open up your eyes to how hard the Chinese will work to be able to have schooling -- and show you how easy our kids have it in America. It's almost shameful. A good read - check it out of the library.

The Diary of Ma Yan

by Ma Yan

Read this one. A true diary of a girl that wanted to go to school. As school costs the families in China, this girl's struggle to be considered worthy enough to keep her parents broke is really sad. Cierra and I read this one as a Mother/Daughter book club read -- so your kids can read it also. I think it is a good book for our children born here in the states to read to understand the gift of schooling our country provides us with -- no matter what our financial situation.

Falling Leaves: The True Story of an Unwanted Chinese Daughter

by Adeline Yen Mah

This is written by the author of Chinese Cinderella. I wanted to know a little more about her life so I ordered this book. It is an unbelievable story of negelct and emotional abuse from her whole family. It is amazing that she succeeded like she did. A very good book but not easy to read emotionally.

The Good Women of China: Hidden Voices

by Xinran

This is a book written by a radio personality. After Mao died and China began its "opening up" period, Xinran decided she wanted to do a talk show on Women's lives. This book is the result of some of her interviews, taped messages and letters that she really could not air in communist China. The content is sad as there are many stories of what women lived through during the cultural revolution. This is not a book for your young teens. Worth the read - recommend checking it out of the library instead of buying.

Beyond the Stone Arches: An American Missionary Doctor in China

by Edward Bliss Jr

I REALLY enjoyed this book. Although Dr. Bliss was a missionary, he was more of a doctor and helper of the Chinese people. He was a strong Christain but did not evangelize. I say this so that the title will not put anyone off from reading it. It is a fantastic story and this man did so many things for the Chinese people that he loved. I'd have to say this is one of my favorites of the books on people living in China that I have read so far.

Coming Home Crazy

by Bill Holm

This is a book of random essays written by a English Teacher that went to China to teach the English Language for a year. He is known as a writer here in the states also. It was a good book and I laughed at his sense of humor many times. He really grew to love China and it's people and it really shows in his writing.

Treason By The Book

by Jonathan D. Spence

About the case of Zeng Jing, in the 1700's in China. A case of treason against the emperor. It was real good at putting me to sleep at night - but it was actaully a very interesting book on how they investigated crimes in China way back when. This is one to check out of the library and not buy. It is worth the read if you are interested in the history of China and interested in investigations.

Leaving Mother Lake: A Girlhood at the Edge of the World

by Yang Erche Namu & Christine Mathieu

This was a very good book. It describes the life of a girl raised in a village that is run by the women. It is very interesting to read and I am glad I ran across this. It is unbelievable that this kind of living is still going on in remote villages. No shoes in the winter! Worth the read!

The Accidental Asian

by Eric Liu

This book is written by a ABC (American Born Chinese). It was a good book to read to give me a glimpse of what it is like to not be mainstream white in our society even when you consider yourself 100% American. There is worth in reading this if you are adopting transracially. There is even a chapter near the end of the book where he speculated what it much be like to be an Asian adopted by white parents and how you find yourself in that case. Worth the read.

Chinese Cinderella: The true story of an unwanted daughter

by Adeline Yen Mah

Very good, but very sad book. This is one I want to share with Alia later as it might give her a glimpse of the thought processes in China regarding their girls. I recommend this book - it is very easy to read -- but it is very sad.

Chinese Mettle

E.G. Kemp

This is an old book that was printed in 1921. It is written by a lady that travel quite a lot in China for that time period. She was a big supporter of missions and she loved China. This book is just her telling about the places and people that she met while traveling over there. It was interesting as it was pre-communist.

A Thousand Pieces of Gold

By Adeline Yen Mah

Another of the books by the author of Chinese Cinderella. I like this author so of course I recommend the book. You learn alot of history and proverbs in this one.

A Woman Soldier's Own Story: The Autobiography of Xie Bingying

by: Lily Chia Brissman & Barry Brissman

This is a book about a young girl that came of age when the armies started taking women and things began to change for women in China. Girl rejects traditional marriage (not a bad thing) and ends up living with some loser, having a child, leaving her child and never really seeming to find happiness. Guess I'm pretty old fashion because I still dont understand why rejecting the old ways of arranged marriages has to go hand in hand with living with men and having their children - instead of marring someone of their choice. Check it out from the library if you are interested - not worth buying in my opinion.

Everyday Acts Against Racism: Raising Children in a Multiracial World

by: Maureen T. Reddy

If you are interested in books/articles written by mothers of children of a different race than themselves, and the challenges and racism issues and how they deal with them -- this is a good book to read. You can get some pretty good ideas on how to deal with some pretty hard issues. I don't know that I would recommend buying it as you will get what you need from it the first time around - but it is definately worth the read

Ho-Ming: Girl of New China

by: Elizabeth Foreman Lewis

Cute book - written at about a Jr. High level. Worth the read - especially for a pre-teen. Written in 1935.